I'm racing with time... But I'm utterly controlled by it.
"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved."
- Helen Keller
In this time of trial and hardship... No matter what aspects, I'd press on. PRESS ON. Till the very last second... YES, I would not give up unless I break down... I still have time to promos...

YET again, I feel empty. A feeling which does not go away no matter how I try not to think about it. I lost my way. I lost my personality but not my character. I lost my confidence, I became more sensitive. Most importantly, I feel strong sense of insecurity. My world is incomplete. All these started when I stepped into AC. I am trying to find a point of balance. I do not hope much, just a point will do. But why? I can't? 8 months, I've struggled.. Though, I've been struggling with other stuffs these past few years.

I only ask for simple things... Yet, they are so unattainable. Sometimes, happiness is like a bubble. One moment it is so beautiful, next moment it vanised with a "pop" sound. Happiness is like liquid. U think u can grab hold of it, but when u try to scoop it, it just runs through your fingers. Y can't I have those things I wanted and needed? I know it's hard to get them because they're not materials which can be bought with money. When I interact and treat others, and maintain friendships, I do it with my whole heart. Sincerity. I always initiate on giving, spare a thought for others, help them when they've difficulties... Sometimes, being a loner is much better than hoping and waiting endlessly to receive something which seemed to take eternity to happen... I'm not expecting any kind of materialistic returns at all, I just want people to treat me the way I treated them or even better than that. But I was disappointed again and again. I'm drained. Really drained. I'm tired of all these. I felt like hiding my heart away, keeping my little window shut now. Perhaps I value others more than they actually value me.

I tried. Hard. No matter how hard I try to dash through that wall, I only got myself injured more each time. The wall did not budge. I cannot do anything if people do not open up to me... I supposed it's time to stop all this naive attempts because they're futile. Perhaps, all these are part of growing up. And my path is cold, lonely and dull.

Well, the above are heart felt feelings ever since I was trapped in AC.
I do have true friends, my best buddies. But they're mostly in faraway in some other places. There are a few here though. But there're still certain things missing... ...

The ONE n ONLY ♥ J A N I C E ♥.








Happiness keeps you
Sweet.

Trials keep you
Strong.

Sorrows keep you
Human.

Failures keep you
Humble.

Success keeps you
Glowing.